February 28 – an excerpt from the book A Year of Days
The program of recovery has opened many new doors for me. My life is much fuller and I participate in more activities, both new and old, that demonstrate to me that I am really living life today. Before, life was living me and it was a constant battle as I fought my way along a narrow and dark canyon of harsh and lonely addiction. Being able to come up and out of that trap of despair and into the real world is exciting and rewarding. It can also be very difficult and painful at times but I understand today that this is a part of the process of life.
I don’t run and hide from life’s difficulties—instead I stand and face them with the help of my Higher Power and other people.
The ability to explore my place in the world and to participate in it stems from the self-discovery and strength that recovery has given me. Having honesty, integrity, and faith gives me confidence and purpose and a sense of value and worth that ultimately allows me to accept my eligibility for all that human life offers. Because of my choices today I am no longer cut off by a feeling of not being good enough. My understanding of myself, who I can be, and what my life can become, has grown, changed, and continues to evolve.
There will be many more choices in life for me as I continue my own spiritual growth.
As an addict I always wanted more of something that could never be attained. Today, the steps continue to show me how to live in a way that brings me more of the wide range of life’s possibilities, opportunities and rewards. I no longer fear or feel unworthy of taking my place in life and redeem my eligibility for the options and choices in front of me today.